Flashback: A Day In The Life

Headaches, lethargy, negative thoughts and diet cravings. This is what I suffered from in my attempt to relax as part of Uni holidays, my first chance for such time in ages. However after one day I soon found out that I did not know how to relax properly. See from the "Dark Days", attempting to relax was lying down watching tv all day. So I tried that and bam! I was hit by all those symptoms. No wonder I was in such a bad place back then. While not the root cause I realize now it certainly exacerbated it.

So now I am experimenting with what to do to relax and/or recharge. I have found it much more positive and fulfilling to be active during the days but at your own pace. I go to the gym, catch up with mates and do one or two odd jobs. This keeps me active, moving towards my goals and away from the temptations at home. And so far I have found this much more beneficial and battery charging then my misconceived prior notions of relaxation. Alpha and Out!

Hit the Pressure Valve

4 exams, 12 weeks of subject material, hours of exam preparation, sleep deprived facebook posts and med school applications to fill out. That is all behind me, and now 3 days on from my last exam the pressure valve has finally been released. I now have 4 weeks to relax, replenish my motivation and study drive, rid my head of study tangles and sort out the other things I haven't had the time or energy to accomplish during semester.

Furthermore these 4 weeks are the perfect opportunity to really ground my pursuit of the Alpha journey, really take it into my soul and embrace the Alpha personality. A big part of this is taking that big motivational drive I regained during exams and converting it to my pursuit of the sculpted, powerful body that embodies my personality. With the extra time I am aiming do two exercise sessions a day combining a mix of weights, running, speed work, cycling and various cross-training. I want a powerful, fast, functional body that equates to both performance and then the healthy look as a nice side perk. I will take my measurements today and post them to compare at the final day of the holidays. Limitless, Let's Goooo, Alpha and Out!

Black Fingers Around My Heart

Or perhaps around my head and squeezing. I was struck down with a bad headache for hours last night verging on a migraine. I think it was fueled by poor diet that day, stress about a subdued prep for my final exam and a lingering cold that I fear will smash me as soon as I let my guard down. The darkness certainly conspired against me for this final exam. More so I think I released the pressure valve to early after working insanely for my first 3 exams and have struggled to maintain the rage so to speak.

However now is not the time to strew n brew. It is time to remember the pain of the past two years. The frustration, instability and the stress. Now I must convert that bad energy into the final step in redemption, the final payback for now at least. It is time I am on the verge of becoming Alpha and living by my new "Limitless m^#*#*r f#^#*%r!" slogan. It is time to remember that I have still locked up 15+ hrs in prep for exam. It is payback time and this time it's personal! Alpha and Out

Fuel the Flame

My flame, my fire, my motivation tempered for a moment. The dark Awkward attempting to make up ground it's lost to Alpha. I think the long duration of exams, trying to keep the fire running hot wore me down. However today I have jumped back on the horse and the fire is back burning brighter than ever. I said it once, I've said it a thousand times when you nail down your nutrition, nail your power for the day. I think I'm finally listening to my own advice.

Lately my posts have focused on my growth and the overwhelming positivity I seem to have captured recently. I have not been exercising much as I am focusing on this exam block but the momentum I have captured recently will drive me to truly take my transformation to heart and finally express my renewed drive into the physical body I want and deserve, Alpha and Out!

Pulsing with Power

It has come to that time again. M*#'#*%r F*#%*€*ing payback time. I am feeling good about my 3rd exam. Fully versed, fully rested, fully pumped. I have rested most of yesterday and had a sleep in this morning. However I then had an excellent exam day study session to refine my skills and knowledge. With a couple of coffees in me and a mind overflowing with the power of positivity I am throbbing with bounds of energy.

Man I wish I could bottle such energy. However I am progressing strongly to when I won't need a bottle it will stream through me freely. Despite not following my plan to the letter, days when in the past would be lost after say half a day snoozing, are now easily productive with an afternoon session to hit my study goals.

Anyway I thought I'd chuck my thoughts down while this power pulses through me before I begin my exam prep routine. Fire Up, whoop whoop! Let's get it, Alpha and Out!

Not Again....

This statement can either refer to another 2 day spiral or another awesome post lost thanks to a glitch in the iPhone app. However what you really want to hear is bout the spiral. A recurring theme has reared it's head on both spiral points where excellent weeks unravelled temporarily. This is ladies and gentlemen..... Wake before 4am= near perfect day, miss alarm and sleep in=bad to average. I think it is because I sneak that extra couple of hours study in before most people are stirring it allows me to have a mid morning snooze without guilt and then it is a easier to ring up another study session in the afternoon giving me greater sense of achievement. Also I naturally seem to be in light sleep at that time period in the morning allowing a more relaxed awakening.

My dietary constraint has been very average this week with my exercise coming not far behind. I think it is because of those pre-exam nerves and once I get the first one out of the way tomorrow things will fall into place. Let's go get it!

Let's Get It

It has arrived, the first day of Payback. Today I take the built up dissappointment, anger and fear and crush it. Today it is time to get some payback for failing a subject, for gaining weight, for all the shit I have been through. Today is the continuation of my steps to Alpha-Dom and beyond.

Today is my first exam. And I feel good. I arose at my 4am to run some practise questions, go for a run and enjoy a relaxing breakky and mid-morning snooze. I am pumped and quietly confident about my preparation. My ambition is strong and my belief in myself sky-high. I am highly motivated to take out all that buried emotion onto this and my following tests. It is funny what motivates myself sometimes. Good luck to all my followers out there in their daily conquests, it's time for to Go Getit!

Let's go and this time it's personal, Alpha and Out!

"Your Going To Hell When You Die"

Sure buddy, and based on your attitude I'll see you there. You have got to love customers at car parks, the blog title was said my way by and elderly gentleman as I was discounting his parking, not enough obviously.

Anyway despite that interaction I have had an exceptional week. Busy low on sleep but productive and positive. I have found a routine that works well for me. Wake up at 4am, study till 6am, take the dog for a walk, go for a run and then stretch, shower and have breakfast. Then it's usually time for a nap or relax to ensure I go the distance and then onto the bike and off to Uni for more study. The last two nights I have gone to sleep later than planned leading to only getting 4hrs sleep until last night. Yesterday was such a busy day I didn't get my early morning nap so have slept in until 10am breaking the cycle but no matter one of the joys of swotvac is not having classes it's just pure study time and so I can recover the day. All on the up and upper, Alpha and Out

Goddam iPhone

I was flawed when attempting to post an awesome post from my iPhone before something mucked up and I lost the post.

The post centralized around my weekend spirals which seemed to start when work started. However further peering through my Friday (the spiral point) revealed some potent triggers. Firstly I weighed myself on the scales. Now this might be productive for some but for me it has always been a poisoned chalice, often resulting in a binge regardless of the result. So from now on I am banning the scales and focusing on hitting my food and exercise goals each day and not worrying bout the stats.

Now that was a factor but more so a minor factor. Again the big factor came back to what I was eating. Narrowing down the specific trigger point it became clear. On Friday I was preparing to ride into Uni but still needed to pack my lunch. My bag was already pretty full so I thought ok I'll just have an early lunch at home and then have Subway for dinner as a reward for a productive week. And BAM! This early lunch turned into a carb infested binge which made me sleepy and I ended up retreating to bed to read and snooze until I reached work. Based on this I am going to investigate whether prepping my weeks worth of lunches will be more productive and stop the spiral from occurring.

Finally to reset the past couple of days I am going to get to bed as soon as I return from work tonight and get up early which will hopefully reset my body clock and motivation and power me onto exams,Alpha and Out!

Fire in the Belly

The past 4-5 days I have been pursing my study and exercise goals relentlessly. Take this morning, up at 4am, studied for 2hrs, took the dog for a walk, has a 26min run and made and ate my healthy omelette for breakfast. I did all that before most people woke up, hell yeah!

This insane work ethic is proof that I am returning to my healthy strong state both physically and mentally. I am big on visualization and I envisage it as my heart, blackened and chained but cracks appear and fold light shoots out in an almighty blast ala Iron Man.

Also I have been listening a lot to YouTube videos of Michael Jordan, Will Smith and P Diddy, people who've done great things and inspire me. These have been exceptionally helpful in pimping me up in the weaker moments. I will post them when I get a chance. All good Alpha and Out!