Bokkes, Bokkes!

No I have not changed my allegiance from Australia to South Africa, I am simply watching a movie. The movie? Invictis, the Clint Eastwood directed movie around the intertwined story of Nelson Mandela and the Springboks (Bokkes) run to winning the 95' Rugby World Cup.

Aside from the big scale messages Clint delivers with a punch such as dealing with racism and the rebirth of South Africa, I want to touch on one particular scene that I feel relevant to where I find myself now. It involves a meeting for tea with Nelson Mandela and the Springbok captain played by Matt Damon where they touch on leadership and how leaders must inspire. One was, to lead by example, something that I try to instill in myself and with a personal training business in the pipes and my desire to inspire others in various capacities, it is something that I need to reinforce within myself. No Excuses, if I want to lead I need to be able to portray the characteristics myself first and foremost.

When touching upon inspiration, Mandela spoke of how a trip to the Barcelona Olympics where he was greeted with people singing the South African national anthem inspired him to do better, become a better person. He also spoke of the power of a poem in inspiring him to not break under the strain of prison. Just words he said but they gave him the power to stand when all he wanted to do was lie. Such is the power of moments and external stimuli, it can turn moments of weakness into periods of power. Whilst I believe that all the inspiration, belief and drive can be derived from within our own minds I also believe that we need the right external stimuli to bring out that mental power behind our drive. I have a collection of YouTube videos on my phone I watch several times a day along with people and quotes with me to stimulate my drive to keep going.

Despite drifting away from my drive forward recently, funnily enough it was today that my Grandma picked up this movie for me, a day where I started with the belief of a million but followed through with no strength. It is one for mento galvanize. To practice what I preach. To rise to that higher state of mind to capture my dreams. I need to become the leader, to set the example and to remember to use my collection of motivational stimuli to keep the drive alive. Let's Get It, Alpha and Out!

Headaches, Lethargy, Frustration

Almost a case of deja vu last night. After rebounding extremely well last week I decide (or more accurately relented) to a half day of carbing up. Thinking my last exam was the next day I conceded to help my study which required more cramming than actual proper study. As always though the controlled carb up soon gave way to open slather on shit food - chocolate, minties, jatz. With the hit food came the lethargy and with that came the return of the screen. I resisted from the TV for most of the day but was unable to resist the DVD player on my laptop. Eventually even my resistance to TV passed away as a movie I wanted to watch was on (2012 - end of the world based on the Mayan calender saying the world will end Dec 21st 2012, a day before my 23rd birthday). Some snoozing during the day along with the ads on TV kept me awake and with that inability to drift off came the frustration. I lay there tossing and turning in the black sludge of my mind.

However unlike last week I woke up on the rebound determined for the carb up 1/2 day not to become a 2 or 3 day binge. This attitude was helped by finding out I miscalculated the date of my exam, giving me an extra day to cram (I hadn't done a shred of study). Nonetheless it took some going to get out of the house relenting to bed-ridden lethargy until midday. But a bike ride and awesome arm and shoulder gym session later and I am back on track to perfection. Before jumping on the bike I had my mid-morning snack of 2 eggs and some salt and pepper (usually I have some salad but I have ran out until shopping tomorrow). As I ate the somewhat inattractive meal I reflected upon the migraine-level headache, the inquentionable thirst and depression of the previous day's carb binge. Compared to that this meal - simple, small and relatively bland, there was a world of difference. Upon finishing it I was energised, not hungry but not full and light. I felt alive and able to take on anything again! Quite a different perspective to the mindset of requiring carbs for energy. Whilst I appreciate the need for a carb up I think I need to approach it as just another cutting day simply with different foods. The complexity and structure of a normal cutting day seems to be easier and more fulfilling for me without any major side effects. So that'll be the plan I will plan out and pre-cook the carb-up half day for this week.

Let's Get It, Alpha and Out!

Another Killa in St Lucia

Today was chest and back weights today, arguably my favorite training session. But even before I stepped up to the gym I was behind the eight ball. My slow 7.5km jog late last night along with the calorie deficit (despite slamming a shake before bed) backfired on me last night and I was unable to get even a wink of sleep. Jumping on the bus in after no sleep was the easy bit. Trying to fire me up for a decent crack at the weights was the hard part. Sanity seemed to prevail and I decided to hit YouTube up for some inspiration. Recently I have been following documentaries and videos of pro body builder, Kai Greene. He has quite a powerful backstory. His father left him young and his mother was not fit to raise him so he grew up alone in foster care or on the mean streets of Brooklyn. Many of his generation turned to drugs, either selling or buying, but Kai sunk his pain into the weights. That pain drove him to now become one of the best bodybuilders in the world. One particular video catalogued his life in the lead up to the 2008 Arnold Classic. Recently dropped by his sponsor he lived in a small, cosy rundown apartment block. He would travel for hours by train to get to his old school dungeon gym and he had to budget meticulously to afford the large amount of food required to sustain a 280 pound muscle bound pro. Without the sponsorship and luxuries his rivals were enjoying he was building a champion physique which he would take further a year later at the Arnold and furthermore he was happy content in those squalid and trying conditions. Suddenly a lack of sleep seemed like a minor problem in the grand scheme.

After watching the clip a couple of times I was able to front up to the gym an hour earlier than I planned for. Some jack3d in me and the renewed vigor I have uncovered thanks to dropsets and I was away. For all intensive purposes it was a very good session considering. I dropped the weights and really focused on getting the proper and full contraction, checking my ego in at the door sonto speak. During sets with the weight focusing me I was able to crank out the reps ok but in between sets the lack of sleep would hit me to the point where I was spent and had to force to start the next set by telling myself just to start the set, realizing that once I started I'd be fine. Then to top off the session, capatilizing on my increased mental grit I went and did 10min cardio.

What a difference three days make. Since the unstudied exam debacle on Monday I have had three days of prime perfection- perfect diet, intense perfect training and solid study. Some lunch and a quick nap and I was back studying with some classmates then home for another snooze, dinner and probably a low impact walk before hitting the books again. Nothing beats working hard against the odds. Alpha and Out!

Lethargy: The Good Kind

If there is such a thing. I'm talking about the kind of lethargy following a big weights or cardio session. I'm talking about the kind of physical and mental tiredness I'm currently feeling that not even a nap or food relieves. Despite the poor timing, in the middle of exams, it is quite a satisfactory feeling.

The cause behind this lethargy was my first weight session using dropsets for leg weights. It is a different kind of workout to yesterday's shoulders and arms dropsetting, the heavier weights and higher reps really took it's toll tonight. It sent me home for a quick nap instead of the study I had planned however as a compromise I snoozed while watching a lecture I missed so everybody wins. Time to smash some dinner and put the head down for some night time study. Alpha and Out!

Looks Like I Got My Swagger Back

What a difference 12 hours makes, not even a day. The intense stimulus of showing up to a exam not having opened a book, the disappointment, the frustration and the darkness of that situation has definitely helped me turn things around. That negative energy I have funnelled into positivity and productivity. After 4 deep hours of sleep I was up and pumping. I cleaned up my room, prepared my meals for the day, packed my bag, had breakfast and shaved and showered all before 6 am in the morning. Before midday I've had a massive gym session, got ontop of my finances and churned out 2 solid hours of study.

Regarding the gym I have sought out long and hard for the "pump". The intense, ballooning of the muscles as blood rushes in to nourish and support the muscle s being worked. Whilst I have always trained with as heavy weights, highest reps possible it has always been elusive to me. I mean I obviously got some pump but nothing serious and it didn't last very long at all. However today I had my first massive pump while training shoulders and arms. My arms were like balloons, large and powerful. Trust me it is quite a good feeling, particularly when tensing in the mirror and bearing witness to your arms massive and vascularised. The difference today that gave me such a pump. I changed my standard 3 sets of the same weight for drop sets. Drops sets involves starting the heaviest weight that you can still lift, you do reps to exhaustion then lower the weight and do more reps to exhaustion and then repeat this ower and ehaust process for 3-4 sets. After looking for the pump and an indication of increasing intensity at the gym for weeks now I finally have stumbled across my golden ticket. Lets Keep It Going, Alpha and Out!

Enough is Enough

It is time to cut the crap, re-evaluate where I'm at and introduce some good old grit and determination. I threw away another subject tonight despite having my first Sunday off in months to study. Instead of studying or even exercising my butt was parked firmly on the coach watching TV. This has been a recurring pattern the past two weeks and despite a small mid week rally it has severely hindered my progress for Stereosonic as we have now broken through the final month.

My thoughts on the bike ride into the exam tonight was trying to figure out where and what this incredible breakdown, of my study and temporary lapse in exercise and nutrition, has occured. I believe it to be a combination of things. First and foremost I believe it is my mental capacity. The steps forward I have taken have required a big leap in mental strength and belief. My plateau's do not seem to manifest themselves physically, they are 90% or more mental for me. I believe it is this mental plateau that has caused the chinks in my mental dam to finger out into cracks leading to a complete failure of the dam. The disintegration was not a wall of water but a wall of television, useless carbs and intense procrastination becoming almost unbearable to even begin the task.

But enough is enough! It is time for me to fight back. To grab a hold of the plateau and spring my mind to a higher state and drag my body and it's transformation with it. Immediately after scampering out of the exam early shamefully, I have been on a mission to begin laying the foundations for such a leap. The following is what I am going to do to light that fire once more;

- I will go straight keto for a week until after my final exam next Monday
- I have already gone shopping and done the required cooking for this
- I have established a no screen rule for my bedroom bar my iPhone
- I will go cold turkey on all TV even replays on the Internet
- I will take my training to another level, trying to lift the intensity for each session
- I will create a daily to do list to gauge the productivity of the day
- I will aim to have 2 training sessions a day and 3 stretching sessions to ensure I do not breakdown
- Finally I will put a three tier approach to my focus priorities 1 being hitting my diet marks, 2 is my exercise marks and the third tier is my study for these last two exams. Everything else must be sacrificed until the end of exams.

I've laid down the plans now is the hard part. It is time to summon that grit and determination and stick to it. Something I have been notoriously poor at in the past but that ends tonight! It is Time to Evolve to a Higher State of Mind! Alpha and Out!

Slow Around Corners

Continuing with my car racing theme I am taking it slower today after a massive day yesterday or in driving terms, slowing into the corners. Yesterday was nonstop from 7am to 11pm when I got home. Beginning well with a solid 6 hrs sleep after a long weekend of work I jumped onto the bike and cycled into the gym. Another excellent training session on legs. However I did not get the pump, an indicator of training intensity in my case, I was looking for. I think I might work in some supersets or body weight exercises in between exercises to increase the intensity of legs. Some train and bus rides took up the afternoon, however in-between was a very productive meeting in brainstorming out the personal training business I am embarking upon with a good mate. Note the date, this is the beginning of something BIG!

Procrastination plagued my afternoon coupled with the effects of keto coming on strong. Whilst not entirely unproductive in the motivational and training stakes (mainly watching body builder Kai Greene in his lead up doco to the 2009 Olympia) but the intended study definitely suffered.

To cap off the big day jumped on the bike to Oztag. I was still suffering quite badly from the lack of carbs and whilst physically I was fine, my mind was crying out for energy. A strong first half from the team was run down by persistent attack by the other team to end in a 4-4 draw. I seemed to have sharpened up mentally upon the bike trip home as it was not the slugfest I had expected.

I decided last night that it was in my best interest to have a sleep in this morning to ensure I was sharp for the rest of the assignments due. 10 hours later I awoke, refreshed but still low on study motivation. So my morning was filled up with a long breakfast reading the paper and then extensive planning to make up for the late start to the assignments. Now planning is done it's time to put into action the study, training and dieting plans and accelerate out of the corner!, Let's Get It, Alpha and Out!

The Final Pit Stop

Inspired by the Gold Coast Car racing weekend I have decided to frame the past week as the final pit stop before racing towards the podium. This week has involved no training, 2 days of free for all dieting and general inactivity. Struck down initially by a cold and then kept in bed because of the daunting Uni study and assignment load. For four days I was practically bed-ridden only getting up on the Monday for Oztag and then just for food and showering. With the bed came the TV. With the TV came the snacking. With the snacking came the free-for-all feeding.

Sounds bad huh? No, realistically it was what needed to happen. I had been training and dieting hard for months and then the added pressure of massive assignment deadlines resulting in less than 5 hours of sleep a night. Something had to give. Just like the car in the final stages of a race I was running on empty and needed a pit stop to refuel, rethink and re-invigorize.

The thinking time of the soft cage of my bed allowed me to rethink my approach towards the final 6 weeks before my goal date for Stereosonic music festival. I had been enjoying success using the cyclic keto diet however with time ever against me I will for the next two weeks go straight keto except for one hour on each Saturday. After those 2 weeks I will reassess what I need to focus on for the final lap. Training wise I am going to increase both my intensity and volume moving to two sessions a day when I can fit them in. In the weights room I am going to return to split training rather than the more full body sessions I had teamed with the keto-ing. I think this just fits in better with my motivation, that I am at the gym most days and have a specific focus for each session. However I am still going to have one intense full-body session at the end of the week to just add that little extra to my results. Pumping out an intense session of super-setting and drop setting is very satisfying and a good end to the week.

Ok refueled, refocused and ready to take this to another level, LetsGetIt, Alpha and Out!

Barking Cold

It appears the assignment induced sleep deprivation has caught up with me today with my throat sore, voice hoarse and mucus sticky. Several nights of 4-5 hrs sleep along with changing weather temperatures and conditions could have only led to the same conclusion. I am a master at pushing myself but am now facing the consequences of overstepping the fine line line of overworking. Now enough of that moping, to ensure my progress and the impending December 4 deadline are not affected too much diet and recovery will be critical. I am still going to train hard this week as planned as I feel that it stimulates me to bring up the flem and it's what I need to do. The crucial bit will be away from the gym. I think I will need to be bed ridden as much as possible or at least warm and comfortable wherever I am to make sure this cold is extremely temporary and doesn't linger as I cant let it derail my progress.

Speaking of progress I am continuing to climb to the summit of perfection. Last week apart from Monday blow out and missed touch and the lack of sleep was perfect. My results on the scales whilst not as spectacular were still very solid losing under 2kgs but 1% body fat indicates that whilst it slowed it is still very much targeting the fat stores. My plan this week was to ramp up my training volume with 2 a day sessions however with my cold I might reconsider and just focus on really perfecting my diet and training with high intensity. Up and at em with plenty of recovery sounds to be the ticket, Alpha and Out!

Bang!Bang!

Monday night suffered a double shot to my progress. Firstly my arvo nap went to long, I slept through my alarm and missed oztag and the associated cycling. This means I will need to make up for it's omission throughout the week. However this can be easily accomplished due to the extra day of ketoing to fit in with a family gathering.

The second shot was the first major blow out while on the keto diet. I was stretching out my meals to work in with oztag but it obviously didn't go to plan resulting in a large gap between arvo snack and dinner. Combine this with the intense pressure weighing heavily on my mind and boom, presto Blow Out! However this was a blow out with a difference. Whilst I relented to pressure and caved into extra food I was still wrong enough to target protein and fat foods emphasizing the need to stay in ketosis. I am happy with that portion of my response. Soon I will be strong enough to resist altogether which is good timing as I plan to up the anti in the near future as Stereosonic looms. Keto Let's Go, Alpha and Out!

Carb Up Pump

Veins popping, arms inflating like balloons. No I was not in the middle of a big arms session, I was in the middle of my weekly cook up. The joys of the carb up I guess as the glycogen was racing to the muscle to be stored dragging along water with it. The one and a half days of carbing up was quite enjoyable, a welcome relief from a successful but ultimately draining first week. I still need to tweak the carbs as I didn't seem to gain any weight over it suggesting more carbs next week. Overall a good problem to have.

I have made some tweaks to the keto meals throughout the week. The majority of which centralize around the avocado meal. I had immense difficulty slamming down the avocado slop the whole week. So to make it more edible I took out the cheese and mayo and added chorizo sausage in it's place. Furthermore I focused more on the layering of the ingredients using salad to try and split the avocado up to avoid masses of it on it's lonesome. I also used this in the tuna meals just to help ensure that was edible as possible. I am ketoing an extra day this week to fit in with some family commitments so this poses a twist and new challenge hopefully my body will continue to drop the fat. All looking good and confident I can make the Saturday deadline. Alpha and Out!

4.85kg and 2.2%

Despite losing over 20kg of body weight I had always struggled to drop the body fat percentage by any significant margin. However one week of ketoing and I dropped 2.2%!

The keto diet is working and now I am enjoying the start of the "carb up". I had a big Mac with medium chips and coke for dinner tonight but it left me unfulfilled. I think I might make myself a large pasta dish next week instead. Something extensively "carby" instead of the processed drivel from Maccas. Overall the diet has been enjoyable in fact it hasn't felt like a diet at all. The fat component really does numb your hunger. However the pangs usually perceived in the stomach seem to move towards the brain but these subsided as the week drew on. I largely stuck to the prescribed cal levels I had planned out apart from extras such as black coffee, zero softdrinks and sugarfree gum. The only extras were cheese and sausages as I figured the key was to keep in a state of ketosis rather than worry about the extra calories. The only real change I'm going to think about is the composition of the avocado meal. It became progressively more and more difficult with the meal today almost on the verge of throwing it up. I think it is the consistency of the meal, it's hard to explain but it is very gooey and fatty. The first couple of bites are fine with the salad but when the salad is gone the avocado is difficult.

The exercise side of things was average, mainly based on the Tuesday leg session where I was really low on energy and the weights I could lift were quite low. I think I also need to re-planthe full body workout on Friday afternoon. I think it would be better to have an intense session to wrap up the dieting week. This means more cardio, supersets and just a generally intensive session.

Finally away from the diet and exercise of things, mentally I am as strong as I have ever been and this is converting to increasing my self confidence. This sort of power I am enjoying at the moment is incredible so much i want to be able to guide others to feel this sort of control, power and positivity. Bring on the final A.L.P.H.A! Alpha and Out!

Drained

I was hit by the same feeling of depletion that I got from 3hrs of hard cycling, whilst doing leg weights this morning. The result I suspect of doing about 3 hours of cycling to and from location plus oztag last night, without replenishing muscle glycogen. The keto diet I'm on advises Monday and Tuesday half body splits to train the muscles for 5-6 sets. They advised this to reduce muscle glycogen, the energy stores of skeletal muscle, to an adequate level to ensure the fat loss is maximized whilst conserving the muscle. However I don't think they intended for a person to add on about 3hrs of cycling and 30-40 minutes of oztag. No matter though I think I just need to play with the timing of my protein shake and preworkout better. Currently I am having half a scoop of jack3d before I ride into gym and half while I'm working out in the gym. After this session I am thinking of sipping on my protein shake combined with the jack3d whilst working out just to provide substance and some food energy to the workout as it really affected the intensity I could train at.

Other than this morning the keto diet has been manageable and actually quite good. I have had no problems sticking to it as my hunger pangs are being suppressed by the increased fat intake. Compared to the normal diet where you percieve the pain of hunger to centre around your stomach the "pain" of a keto diet I have found is localized to the head/brain. This makes sense as compared with the rest of the body the brain requires glucose I.e. from carbs and doesn't adapted well to ketones. The timing of my meals (every 2-3hrs) has so far been working well as despite early starts and late finishes on both days I have been dieting so far ending with the ride home, I have had sufficient energy for all but literally the final minutes of the ride. The only straying from diet so far has been an extra sausage last night. I was extremely depleted and drained and the half shake I had planned simply wasn't enough to allow me to do some study. So along with a black coffee I ate a sausage. At about 100 calories and consisting mostly of fat and protein I was happy to take it on board without affecting ketosis. It's going to be interesting how the remainder of the week until the "carb up" goes, I'll keep you poste, Alpha and Out!

Keto! Let's Gooo!!

And here we are! Time to introduce my plan to take this journey to the next level and begin to reach the pinnacles. To take my muscular but still undefined phyisque and chisel out abs of stone, arms of power, legs like trees and pecs like dinner plates. With that in mind I am not looking for pure size, I never have been. I am looking for defined, proportional and functional muscles. The kind that Zyzz made famous, with a little personal tweak towards triathlons to set me up for my eventual return. To do this I am hitting the diet hard and working my training in around that.

But before I expand on this I'd like to update you all on my stats, where I've come from and where I intend to go. I measured my stats this morning to mark the start of the new phase of the Alpha journey. Currently I am sitting at about 85kg which is about 15-20kgs from my peak a mere 12 months ago. It doesn't feel like that much but when I check out the figures, damn I'm happy with that. Body fat percentage is not quite as amazing at 23-24% down from 30% but still an improvement. The next big gain is a loss of almost 20cm from my stomach from 110 down to 90, happy with that but still a bit to go. My chest has come down to 100 from 110 and the rest of my body has generally decreased by a couple of centimetres at least as I carve away the fat. Overall I am immensely proud of where I am at and exceptionally excited about where I am heading.

Now to my plan of attack. Based on the stats above, the one aspect I want to focus on is my body fat percentage, where I have only made moderate losses. It is time to home in on the excess cutaneous fat I am still carrying. To do that I am utilising a form of the ketogenic style of dieting made famous/infamous by the Atkins diet of the 70-80s. However as you know I am not a fan of desperate housewives dieting so this variant is honed to the athlete or body builder. The ketogenic diet is based on replicating the body's response to starvation by removing essentially all carbohydrates and basing the diet on protein and fat. Now this might go against all the mainstream fears of fat however its research is long and reliable as it is a therapeutic to treat epilepsy in children. Essentially the body changes from utilizing glucose for energy and moves to ketones and free fatty acids, essentially targeting adipose tissue to supply energy to live and train.

Now where my variation, the cyclical ketogenic diet (CKD), comes into play is a day and a half of "carb up" where carbs are consumed to refill muscle glycogen, the stored energy for muscle. This allows for a reduction in muscle loss from the dieting as well as ensuring adequate energy levels throughout the week to train properly. For people interested in trying it out I thoroughly recommend The Ketogenic Diet by Lyle MacDonald. He breaks down each macronutrient (protein, carbs,fat) as well as outlining training required to optimise fat loss while minimising muscle and performance loss. Once my calculations were done my stats came down to 2100 calories, 10g carbohydrate, 150g protein and 160g fat per day. To accommodate this into a diet I have based breakfast around eggs, mid-morning snack around avocado (healthy fats), lunch around tuna, mid-afternoon around almonds and dinner around beef mince. Extras include protein shakes, olive oil, full fat cheese, mayonnaise and some salad to provide the small amount of carbs as well as dietary fibre.

To optimize the diet my training is as follows;

Sunday - Long Cardio, either bike or run (exploiting the "carb-up" days of Friday arvo and Saturday)

Monday - Upper Body Weights

Tuesday - Lower Body Weights

Wednesday - Cardio in the Gym

Thursday - Sprint training

Friday - Full Body Weights

Saturday - OFF (for carb-up)

I will be hitting up twitter a lot with minute-minute experience as I try this diet as well as it will most likely be the focus of my posts for the next month or so as I tweak and refine things to perfect the plan and keep on track to a diced up physique. Ok, Lets Go, Alpha and Out!

Blogs Blown Away

I swear it was the Wellington windy weather that blew my blog posts away. Ok, you got me, I was too busy relaxing and checking out the sites to post you up and for that I am sorry. But nonetheless I had a good time in Wellington visiting my mum, attending the Rugby World Cup and checking the city out. It was good also to relax the diet back to maintenance levels and enjoy some R and R. I generally kept the diet to maintenance levels for the majority of the trip apart from 1 or 2 meals the food was healthy and portion controlled. The tourist lifestyle of walking everywhere also help along with the 2 runs I did along the coast of the harbour. And damn they were the most anaerobic runs I have ever done. I knew it was windy in Wellington but not that windy. Many times it almost tripped me over as the wind pushed my foot in the swing phase against my leg. I also often had to stop and brace myself to ensure that I wasn't picked up and dunked in the harbour. It was crazy.

I now return from my holiday preparing to take this journey to the next level. While this is not the final journey to the summit I have definitely reached the final Base Camp and am making a move towards the Summit camp. I will blog about the steps I am taking to drive this push to the next level tomorrow. Quite frankly I am excited about the possibilities. New Zealand was also where I began to realise how much transforming I have down in the past month and a bit. This blog has been going for almost 2 years to little to know available and most of the weight and transforming has come in a little under 2 months. I still have about 2 months till my deadline and I am excited about what I will be looking like on that day. Lets Get It, Alpha and Out!

Showers, Caffiene, Carbs

It is funny what your body craves when the cortisol is pumping, the mend frustrated and the sleep rare and distant. A last minute assignment before an international flight had me stressing out. And all I could think about was how it affected my training and diet. I made it perfect till yesterday despite the obstacles but at the crunch point I had to miss my training, chest and back days potentially my favorite, to maintain some sleep. I jumped into the assignment and to keep me going my body it was craving masses of carbs, Caffiene and weirdly enough I was compelled to shower repeatedly. Having said that i managed to return my diet to some normality by the time I finished the assignment.

And now I am waiting for my plane to windy Welligton. It evaluation time. Time to see what's working, what I need to change and planning my diet and training to take it to the next level. Some exciting posts to come, Alpha and Out!

The Past and The Present

Damn what a day. Started with a sleep-in, thank God. I then churned out solid study until it was time to make it into Uni. Smashed through a lively ethics class before settling in to nut out this assignment. Luckily I managed to team up with a couple of other people working on the assignment. Man, that really does help just keep you focused and on task. Training/Stuyvesant partners are worth their weight in gold. With studiers by my side we churned out 3 hours of assignment work. Made a little head way but still nothing spectacular. Think that's a big day already, it's just getting warmed up.

By the time 8pm rolled around we were spent studying so we called it quits. Now Awkward wouldve been wringing his hands in delight at the possibility to go home but Alpha said none of that. Bang! Gym time Baby! I did a solid spinning for 40 mins on the bike including some "hill" sprints and followed this up with a strong arms and shoulders weights session. Now due to my hectic schedule before NZ I have not been able to go shopping or prepare meals for each day and as such while maintaining dietary levels my food consumption is all over the place so I ended up feeling low on energy towards the end of the session. Pre workout mix Jack3d only went so far, covering my cardio and about 1/3rd of my weights session. I don't think this is due to desensitization but rather the lack of food in the lead up to the session. This gave me a little window into the future month when I kick it to the next level and try my hand at the cyclic keto diet. It's google to be interesting and I will post it's details in the near future.

That's the present now for the past. Despite my lengthy day you couldn't wipe the smile off my face at the gym tonight. I'm sure my fellow gymers were freaked out by my chestshire cat like grin as I exerted myself. Why was my face sunny like space? In the mirror I could see myself in my new glory. The weight loss and training is really now starting to reap visible benefits and my thin but solid physique is quite simply thrilling me and inspiring me to take it further. I was thinking about this whole journey from the depths of darkness as Awkward to the present euphoria. Damn if I could bottle that shit and give the feeling to others the world would be a perfect place. I finally returned home at 11pm and low and behold waiting on my desk was my supplements particularly my protein powder, my saviour. Could this day have gone better? Let's start again at 4am to find out but first sleep, Alpha and Out!!!

Back On Track

A powerful return to form today starting at 5am for a long run. I had planned to go for a long ride on my bike however a mechanical issue (breaking a tire valve) hindered my start. In the old days I would've said That's It and gone back to bed but such is my resilience I changed into running gear and churned out a slow l, steady 7.5 km hilly run. A quick breakfast and day prep and I was on my bike (this time risking the broken valve) and into Uni. A quick bit of intense intervals on the treadmill followed by a solid abs session ended up being a decent gym sesh.

Then the going got tougher as I attempted to plough my way through an ominous impending assignment. This assignment has got me running around crazily in circles, I just can't seem to nut down a definate direction or starting point. Awkward would just fold and procrastinate his time away however Alpha sat back and ploughed away and continued to do so despite little forward progress.

A difficult study block clouded my head and fatigue was creeping in. Luckily I had to ride into work and enjoyed the "angry" ride. An angry ride is exercise usually following intense study or frustrating mental circles where you simply take your frustration out on your body and really push yourself hard to burn all that red mist of mental frustration away. I love it.

A massive shift at work for a Sunday has left me tired but very pleased with my return to pursuing perfection with vigour. Just 4 days to really put the foot down before a holiday. Let's Gooo Alpha and Out!

Needing an Excuse

Hitting my diet targets exceptionally in the past month has resulted in an early depletion of protein powder, a critical component of my diet. So critical in fact it's absence was a key factor in a blow out today. My mid morning snack of fruit and protein went from a pear and a cold sausage to a all out carb fest of biscuits, crackers and cheese. This was followed by the usual crash tackled sleep followed by thirst and a headache. I also missed Uni classes for the first time in a long period. Total meltdown.

Now again this will not destroy my week. I have powered through all my tough workouts, hit my diet perfectly till today and have been edging away at the bulk of Uni I have to study. But nonetheless sub consciously at least my perfection was grinding away and the convenient lack of protein powder was the perfect excuse for Awkward to attack. I honestly think that not being up and at em' early in the morning is a causal factor. Getting up early sets me on the right track from the get go and I generally can continue this positivity throughout the day. However I do need the sleep especially as from Tuesday - Thursday I am up very early to get to the gym. Perhaps I should sleep in a bit but get up and straight after some day prep I should be on my way into Uni straight away therefore getting my sleep and getting off earlyish for a positive day. Considering I am getting close to ramping up for exercise and dieting (which I will outline soon) I need to sort out these little kinks to facilitate my journey to a higher state. Let's Go Alpha and Out!

Saturday Blue's

Ain't talkin bout the blues of the brain

I'm talking bout the ones viewed from a plane

Cloudless purity

Not shrouded in insecurity

Damn! I'm powering through the serenity!

Yes not exactly the thoughts you had when you saw the blog title. The skies of Brisbane have been blown clean by strong winds and whilst difficult to deal with on the bike it has made for an excellent day. There is something spiritually lifting about fine weather. Being able to sit in the sun in comfort, spreading oneself across the grass and just soaking it in.

An early Saturday start to hit up the gym but damn I'm feeling great. Had a good session of a 25 minute tempo run, 20 minute slow walk on incline followed by a good ab workout. I am starting to definitely see my gains in the mirror and that is adding to my motivation incredibly. It is almost sky high at the moment and my mental space is strong enough to protect and support it. While I am now starting to get a bit tired it is more likely to be due to an exetensive assignment I am currently working on than actual "lack of sleep" tiredness. Continuing to hit my diet marks which is simply adding levels onto my motivation and improving my cognition as always. Damn life is good at the moment! Alpha and Out

Delayed Onset F.....un?

You all thought I was going to say fatigue huh. Well far from it. Today I am reaping the benefits of a full on schedule over the past three days. The last three days have involved early starts, some late nights, big training sessions, strict dieting and particularly yesterday strong mental fatigue. This schedule while left me totally drained last night has resulted in me achieving a number of targets. These targets include 3 very close to Pursing Prime Perfection (ppp) days meaning hitting diet goals, training goals and overall strength goals. My study targets did suffer, mainly on the last day but the bounce back today will solve that.

Hitting these targets has resulted in acquiring self satisfaction. This leads to increased pride and motivation leading to improved self worth ultimately leading to increased self confidence. Now the delayed aspect of it, I believe is due to the mental and physical fatigue of the schedule, temporally hiding these net gains in positivity. Now last night I enjoyed a 11 and a half hour sleep knocking out the summative fatigue from the prior three days. This allowed the acquired achievement peak through and grab hold of me mentality. Damn it's good, I've had that limitless feeling all day so far. Accompanying it is some nervous energy for a anatomy exam today which I am confident about but still have the nerves to drive me. Speaking of which I better head to now, Alpha and Out

It's In the Tweak

Pumping through my new schedule well and sticking to it but really feeling the effects. Fatigue is currently flooding my mind. It's throwing up all kinds of crap my way - "why are you doing this?" "just miss it this morning you'll be right". It's even challenging my basis for training so hard, hitting my diet so well and what am I to do next year. Luckily though I'm am now more than stronger to tackle such obstacles. Mere pebbles instead of the boulders I was facing months ago. Funnily enough the best part of my day not effected by fatigue is the reason I'm cutting sleep short, the gym! I have grabbed hold of my fitness by both hands and have such an intense focus it is overwhelming my will and focus to study. A bit concerning but I'll manage I still have been studying well just with no passion like I have in relation to my fitness.

Fighting back against the fatigue, I incorporated a rest hour between lectures today. Normally I would hope to study but instead waste time procrastinating on the computer. This would lead to negativity which along with fatigue would smash me over. So instead I went for a sleep. I couldn't sleep but I ended up just resting and doing some phone surfing. And lo and behold, it seemed to work, I rocked up to the lecture and did not dose at all ,a record under normal circumstances. It's all about tweaking things until you hit the magic formula of sleep, study and dieting. Alpha and Out!

Beatin' The Tuesday Blues

Hells yea I did. Finally Tuesday did not end in a crap-fest of TV and food followed by sleep-ins and a disrupted Wednesday. I went for a Pursuing Prime Perfection day to top it off and help ensure I kept myself on track. It went right down to the wire but an evening snooze came in the way of calling it. I know a snooze is not the worst thing in the world and that since I had been up since 4am it was definitely needed but it simply just takes the icing off the cake and I couldn't call it perfect.

The change in schedule of rest days etc has worked well so far particularly yesterday. It started up nice and early with a 4 am start to have breakfast and prepare for the day. Jumping on the bike through cold but not freezing temperatures (copped that today on the ride in) I rode to the gym and smashed out a solid session. The session consisted of a warm up, 45 minutes spinning on the exercise bike, shoulder and arm weights and then a warm down. I was happy with the session and it proved to be a bumper start to the day. The day at Uni went well and included plenty of preparation for an impending exam as well as a decent presentation of an assignment. I went home and crashed. Slammed down the family meal and within 15 minutes I was out cold on the couch. This ended up being a 3 hour snooze. I woke up feeling pretty good but instead of just moving to the bed like I used to, I had the foresight to pack my bag and prepare for tomorrow (another 4am start to the Gym) as this always helps me rise in the morning- all I have to do is eat breakfast and get dressed and then I'm on my way.

Whilst the schedule change has been going great so far I think I need to rethink Monday sleep-in. The snoozing left me groggy and lethargic. Perhaps it could involve a later then normal rise at say 6 am, breakky and some study and then a mid morning snooze instead rather than the solid block. I will think more about it until the next one. Alpha and Out!

What A Difference A Month Makes

It has been about a month since I really locked into hitting the diet hard and damn it feels good. I relaxed my diet yesterday and smashed some of the old "brown" diet for lunch. The brown meaning crackers, cheeses mostly I.e. Processed carbs. A month ago I would've enjoyed this extensively and enjoyed the post-meal crash and snooze. It also would've led to more bad food turning a 750 calorie meal into a 2000 cal binge. However none of this occurred. Whilst I enjoyed the meal I did so in moderation. But when I arose I felt like I was hung over, such was the impact of the "brown" meal. And to think a mere couple of months ago this was all I ate. Then the lethargy brewed up the usual negative thoughts, the put-downs of the soul saying I wrecked all my progess yada, yada. Luckily though I am mentally strong enough to simply leave those thoughts through to the keeper or hit em' for six. They ain't gonna get my wicket.

I had a successful weekend on all fronts. An epic Saturday morning gym session started off the weekend with a bang. Working the chest/ back I made gains in all my sets. I then churned out a fast work at a 15 degree incline on the treadmill. While it was not aerobically tough it certainly was anaerobically. It ended up being a good long low intensity walk. Seeing the Australian Air Forces new Super Hornets tear up the sky at work was amazing and I spent my ride home from work imaging I was flying such a plane, my inner child running riot. A solid rest day came on Sunday with the relaxed diet was exactly what I needed and I churned out some solid study. All on the up and up, Alpha and Out!

"I Love the Smell of Napalm in the Morning"

There is something inherently satisfying and full-filling about accomplishing something and getting shit done before the sun rises. Jumping on the bike after a 4:30 alarm bell and riding through the cold but pleasant morning was and always is a great way to start the day. Follow that with a massive leg session were I made gains in all of my exercises makes it even better. Now I'm on the way to pick up a textbook for Uni and it's not even 8:00 AM. Damn that feels good.

I'm not sure what gives me such fulfillment about rising early and doing things. I have always been an early riser apart from the "dark ages". Coincidence? I think not. Biochemically it can't be the endorphins from exercise because I get that feeling from just getting up to study. Perhaps it's the euphoria feeling from a short sleep generally getting 4-6 hours on such a day. Perhaps. Or maybe it is just the inherent satisfaction that I'm am getting ahead of the masses while they sleep in warm beds. I'm achieving, growing and strengthening my discipline while they struggle to simply bring their feet out from under the covers. I dunno, but whatever it is, damn I love it. It just sets up my day so well and before the sun peeks through I am already in an unstoppable positive mood. Even with the lack of sleep inducing a crash mid afternoon , by then most of the hard work has been done and it allows me to come home and just rest, relax and recover. Top tip: Get up early for a "limitless" day, Do It, Alpha and Out

Get Cut, Get Brained

I'mmmm baccccck! All it took was a bit of study, hitting my diet marks and of course smashing out at the gym. Arms and shoulders today and I made some gains but no loses so overall a successful session. Started off a little slow with a sleep-in feeling the effects of the past couple of says of average food. It's funny how in a matter of weeks a bit of the crap food you used to love now ferments and disgusts you, it's good.

On the first brainstorming point at work last night I have narrowed down an issue of thinking about to much- what I'm doing next year, when should I organize my PT course, will I make it into Med, Do I even want to do Med, what sort of person I'll become when I reach Alphadom. The list goes on. This vast array of thoughts, worries and concerns damage my focus and push me to the edge of mental stability potentially causing blow outs etc. So until the end of Uni I will only have two focuses and everything I do has to support one or both. The first catch cry is "Get Cut" and that entails dropping fat, putting on muscle and smashing out the diet to get cut and drop my body fat percentage. The second battle cry is "Get Brained" and this entails getting my head back into study and going hard out. At the end of the day all I can do now is do my best. There is no point fretting about what my future entails. Two focuses and hopefully greater intensity focus overall.

The other brainstorming work last night was restructuring my week to optimize my activities in my two focuses. Basically I have moved my "rest day" to Monday and I will call it more of a sleep in rather than a whole rest day. I have also scheduled long rides for Friday and Sunday mornings. Ontop of these changes I have scheduled definite study sessions as well as scheduling my gym times plus extra runs. Along with my Monday sleep-in I have scheduled a Friday night relax mainly to watch the Footy but also it's a good time of the week for a rest.

Refocused, reformed and restructured. Lets GO, Alpha and Out!

It Aint About How Hard You Can Hit

"let me tell you something you already know, the world aint all sunshine and rainbows, it's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently and keep you there if you let it. You, me or nobody is gonna hit harder than life, but it ain't about how hard you can hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward, that's how winning is done! Now if you know what your worth go out and get what your worth, but you gotta be willing to take the hits and not point fingers saying you ain't where you want to be because of him,or her or anybody, Cowards do that and that Ain't YOU! Your better than that!"
Sly Stallone in Rocky Balboa.

Sly copped a lot of hate from his 6th Rocky movie but, damn, he sure packed a punch in that scene. I challenge you to hit YouTube up and not be moved by that scene.

I have been listening to that scene on repeat this morning after blowing an assessment item in one of my courses. I didn't study and it will show. I have been attending the majority of my courses but truthfully I have simply been coasting. I have been planning to get up early to study but sleep in. I will get all pumped up about studying, exercising and living but then when I return home I crawl into bed and eat shit and watch crap. I believe it is a side effect of the last days of the "dark ages", a coping mechanism whenever the slightest bit of pressure arises. Luckily though this weakness is only really potent for about 24 hours a week, from mid Tuesday afternoon til Wednesday afternoon. I have come in leaps and bounds in the last couple of months reducing this time to one day but my journey again comes to the crossroads. It is time to develop some true grit. Some deep ingrained discipline to carry me through pressure.

I was once like a pressure cooker. I would just absorb the pressure, soak it up, actively pursue it in fact because that pressure drove me to produce tender meat from gristle. However I reached critical mass and developed cracks. I have now been healing for months now. The true grit is needed to complete the healing, to fill the cracks. And I believe I am a mere month away from being a fully functional pressure cooker once more however I've got to be able to take the hits to fully ensure my integrity.

I think the reason why the last 24 hours is always difficult for me is because I go flat strap on the weekends and subconsciously or consciously believe I need a day or two to just relax and sleep in. I resisted for much longer yesterday before caving into temptation than ever before and it is definitely becoming a two steps forward, one step back pattern. Such a recurring pattern forces me to reconsider the structure of my week especially when I have my fully rested day which means no cycling, no gym. This is something I'm going to consider during work and then I will post my renewed plan of attack. Down day but ain't nothing I can't respond to, Let's Go! Alpha and Out

Nanana Spinning, Nanana Spinning

Spinning, Spinning, BATMAN...I mean spinning. Warning this may Contain Bike Related Concepts with Traces of Perfection.

Since my first long ride and subsequent breakdown I have been focusing on improving my endurance by incorporating "spinning" into my bike rides. For the Non-cyclists, spinning regards a high cadence while pedaling i.e. how many times your leg completes a pedal rotation in a minute. Spinning is usually considered between 90-100 reps per minute. To the average biker, spinning would feel foreign to them as they/we are all brought up as good "grinders" which is basically a lower cadence at a higher gear so you really have to force the pedal to rotate. Spinning allows you to push harder for longer and as your fitness improves you can crank out higher gears but at the spinning cadence. This technique is used by the pros to great effect allowing them to reach massive speeds and maintain them over long distances. Essentially the concept involves utilizing aerobic energy cycles compared to anaerobic, avoiding some of the waste products of the latter system as well as increasing removal of the waste products due to a higher heart rate.

So far this week I have been pumping away quite well at the spinning and I can definitely notice a difference in endurance particularly when climbing hills. It takes some getting used to but I definitely recommend it and for all you desperate housewife dieters it most likely burns more calories cause you can go longer and maintains a higher heart rate (although don't quote me on that). Still rocking everything really well on my journey to Alphadom. My diet has been perfect. So perfect intact I felt it safe to include some treats, in moderation of course, consisting of a serve of cashew nuts, a slice of cheese and scrambled eggs for breakfast with a sprinkle of Parmesan cheese, mmmmm. Usually such indulgences would trigger a landslide despite my best intentions however my mind is becoming that strong that it can dismiss any such tempting thoughts in an instant. My exercise is also going well. I hit the weights hard this week for the first time in ages and man it feels great, sore but great to be pumping iron. To take it to the next level also I have taken to getting into a stretching, icing and just taking care of my physiology in general before I go to sleep. In the past injuries have plagued and hampered my progress and I am focused to do anything to avoid such injuries as well as maintain my exercise workload to which injury prevention and recovery are essential. Man I'm good, Alpha and Out!

How Bout Some Goddam Respect

My return to the gym hard this week has reintroduced me back to all the pet peeves of sharing a gym. Crowding, waiting for equipment and Neanderthals roaming around not doing much but the peeve today absolutely takes the cake. I was smashing out reps on the bench press. I finished my set and had a brief rest. Some old but relatively muscular guy, therefore he should know better, started grabbing some plates off the bench press, as in the spare weights on the connected rack. Ok I thought he didn't ask or anything but oh well. I then started my last set, and all of a sudden he's grabbing more weights off the bench, while I'm lifting! It totally threw me off and ended up turning a rubbish set because I lost focus. I get up angry but of course do not confront him because I'm too easy going. I move onto my next exercise and turn around. And he has claimed my bench for himself! He was just forcing his way onto the bench despite another 3 being available. Where's the Respect?

I am sorry for this vent of a post but the only thing that really irks me to the core is people whom through their words and actions do not respect others. Love and Respect is part of my A.L.P.H.A mantra and I truly hold respect as integral to my day- day life. That guy showed me no respect. And I for one want to thank him- for giving me anger which I fed into my lifting for a big session. I also want give him a warning I coming to get you chump, I will be ripped to shreds and ontop of my game and you will quake in your boots if you show that lack of respect again! RESPECT, Alpha and Out!

Challenges To Explode

A very average day today consisting of a bed-ridden, junk food and TV binge. It is a bad reminder of the Dark ages where I'd be in bed all day, getting up only to collect food, not rising till the absolute last possible moment before work. And damn I felt physically terrible- bloated, lethargic and sick. Basically the complete opposite of the Perfection days I have been enjoying recently.

Now rather than dwelling on today I want to examine my movements to attempt to find the trigger then bury it and move on. Now triggers, I believe this episode was triggered mid Tuesday afternoon. I was tired, the weather crappy, a day of procrastination making me feel guilty and a new protein flavour all added up to a dangerous mix of self destruction. This lead to the purchasing of processed snacks on the way home, which I subsequently administered to myself along with a large dinner and combined with TV driven insomnia. All this meant I was up on the idiot box till the wee hours of the morning leading to sleeping in and then giving in altogether about today. Damn just look how a moment of weakness can wreak havoc on everything. Taking things forward I think I need to switch my coping crutch from processed, crappy carbs and TV to something positive. Immediately a gym session along with a hit of jack3d springs to mind. That is good thinking and means I just need to be prepared for impromptu gym sessions at all times. I think I can manage that. Let's Do It, Alpha and Out!

First Challenges

A long, long day, yesterday was. Cold, rainy and very windy weather wore me down. I ended up having too much desert and some biscuits before I went too bed. Certainly not the end of the world but considering how good I've been flowing lately it is enough to annoy me. Luckily though a minor setback like that doesn't derail me like it did before and I am up back on it today, my rest day.

The roots of the wearing day yesterday arose from my early start, waking up at 3:45am before my 4:30am alarm. I had only 4 hours sleep but I am was rockin' ok. I than made the mistake of using the scales to check where I was at. Good news I had cracked the 90kilogram mark which for so long had been a barrier. However the numbers weren't as great as I thought they'd be and this allowed the usual negative thoughts try and slip through. I jumped on my bike and rode to the gym for a session. I was stretching when I caught some of the negative thoughts trying to sneak in and I smiled. I smiled because one, I caught them and questioned them before they could sink in but I smiled mainly because the thoughts were completely non-founded. While the numbers might have not shown it I knew and could feel a massive gain in fitness and fat loss. It humoured me that these thoughts were completely off line. Despite the early start I continued to grind out a big day with shopping, catching up with mates and a Uni practical then grabbed a bus to pick up some protein powder, which I had just ran out of that morning. As a cornerstone of my diet, the lack of it really took the edge off my diet and most likely caused the minor blow-out last night. I think it has such a profound effect on me because of its appetite supressing qualities and also the ease at which it can be consumed.

Anyways, it is back to all quiet on the Alpha front with a rest day coming in as always at a good time. I will do some planning today and comeback to training tomorrow with force looking to improve my cardio, pack on some muscle and tweak my nutrition. Lets Getit, Alpha and Out!

A.L.P.H.A

The recent boom of positivity and momentum I have been enjoying along with the fork the road nature of this time period has got me reflecting on everything- goals, aspirations beliefs etc. I have successfully managed to tie in some of my deeper beliefs to buzz words based on the letters of "Alpha". And here they are!

A is for Ambition
And I've got bucketloads of it, sometimes to my detriment. I've got the desire to achieve great heights in any and all of my endeavors I pursue. My ambition drives me out of the depths and up to the sky.

L is for Love
Love and respect is what it is all about ultimately. I am a great believer in respect and I believe that love is built on a deep and profound respect. The so called romantic side of love gets layered on top.

P is for Perseverance
That is what has kept me going in the face of sometimes mountainous adversity. Anything worth having requires hard work and belief I.e. they all require perseverance. Diet, weight training, triathlon training and building social skills requires perseverance and endless tinkering.

H is for Heights
I want and will achieve great heights in any field I choose. I have the will, belief and power to set high goals, plan and achieve them.

A is for Adventurous
While at the moment I might not be particularly adventurous I'd certainly like to develop this to be become extremely adventurous. I'm talking climbing mountains like Everest and K2, cycling crazy distances, competing in triathlons around the world, going out to clubs all over the world, even performing in those clubs in some facet. Watch this space it is the final letter and the final aspect for me to truly develop.

Well that's the wrap up of some of my key beliefs and lifestyle hopes and aspirations. Let's go work it out, Alpha and Out!

I Hit It, I Hit It Good

A mere day after running the Zone I ran smack, bang into a big, bloody, brick wall. The wall is another sports psych term explaining when the endurance athlete suddenly loses energy and momentum. His legs become leaden, the air becomes thick and hot, the solid ground become a muddy bog sucking down each leg as you pedal, run or swim. And damn today I hit the wall harder then ever before.

I hit it good and furthermore I'm even happier that I was able to be in a position to hit said wall. A mere month ago I would not be able to reach that point in the road. It occurred while on my first large bike ride from Brisbane City around the Mt Cotton area. I managed to keep up with my mate but on the return leg, riding along the freeway, a baking sun, simmering bitchuem and cramping and sore legs all added up to the brick wall. But besides the last couple of k's it felt awesome to be out in the open , riding freely, cranking some solid speed, enjoying the descents and attacking the hills. It was a great start to my experience in long range riding. Let's keep the Perfection rolling, Alpha and Out!

In The Zone

A packed weights room greeted my entry to the gym so I went straight to the cardio room to crank out a long tempo run. I had planned a big leg session but it was clear that wasnt going to be possible with the number of people in the gym. At the end of the day it was for the best as I have a large bike ride planned for tomorrow and having sore legs would not be to pleasant. So I jumped onto the treadmill and began the tempo run.

Music pumping, admiring my form in the mirror and the pleasant temperature soon had me churning out the steps in the fabled "Zone". Now kids gather round while I tell you about the Zone. Where to begin, ah yes, no pain. You almost lose total sensation of your legs as if your running on air. Your pumping out the Km's but your breathing fine and untroubled, there is no burning despite the intensity of your run. Ontop of this weightless, painless feeling you enter a intense focus leading to tunnel vision to the goal your chasing. Damn I love it, Alpha and Out!

Mental Thorns Can Be Crushed

Less than 4 hours sleep last night after finishing work late and an early morning lecture resulted in my mind trying to knock me off my perch. I was tired, worn down physically but mentally I was pumping with positivity. Such was this positivity that I overcame my physiological weariness and actively attended all 3 lectures today, hit the majority of my study goals before crashing late afternoon.

However throughout this period my physiology was crying out for attention, it did not like being shunned and over-powered. It was saying screw this you tired you can catch up on those lectures later, study can wait, you done good this week you deserve a reward. I call these mental thorns. They are simply subconscious thoughts trying to entangle you to protect it from change. The body hates change. In fact a great deal of my studies in science are associated with mechanisms to avoid change and return to "comfortable" levels. These mental thorns are protective, they're just trying to keep you comfortable. But the key to mediocrity is the realistic while the key to success and greatness is the unrealistic. The unrealistic has led to all modern phenomenas such as airplanes, mobile phones even basic western staples electricity and tap water were unrealistic concepts before some came and CHANGED their view from what was unrealistic to what was realistic and engaged in activities to persuade others of this view change. So while mental thorns are protective and natural to the body they inhibit the new, exciting and beneficial mental processes required to succeed. So crush them thorns and achieve your dreams. Damn this is a good post, now I'm gonna go practice what I preach, let's do it, Alpha and Out!

Nuff Inspiration To Fuel The Nation

4 hours sleep, 1 sore back, 5 small meals and what do you get? Constipation?...Hell No! You get Inspiration. I was on fire today and it all comes back to the momentum of my perfection pursuit I began on Sunday and decided to continue. Combine this positivity with the euphoric response of the body to lack of sleep and a high protein diet and man, life becomes limitless. This limitless feeling lead to a mind racing with creativity mainly surrounding the opportunity I have to use my journey as a jump start to a personal training and life changing business. Let your dreams fly! I do have to be weary though as often on days like this the euphoria of lack of sleep can easily be replaced by weariness and irritability which can lead to food blow outs and a negative mood. I am confident though that I am in the right mindspace to successfully manage this potential situation, Boo-Yah!

And all this positivity despite a sore back which luckily coincided with my rest day (unluckily for my Oztag team who were knocked out of the semi-finals). This means that depending on how I feel in the morning I will only have missed half a session of training, at least for cardio, I will put off weighs for another couple of days to be safe.

Let's keep the ball rolling in the pursuit of perfection, Alpha and Out!

Perfection Is My Reward

I found myself in a familiar position today. After the rampaging success of yesterday I walked into the kitchen for morning snack time. Goodies peered out at me from every corner. Jatzs, brown and golden. Cheese yellow and moist. Cashews salty and satisfying. Upon sight of my previous vices an unwelcome voice chimed in. "You had a great day yesterday, you deserve a reward," Hello, Awkward, old friend. Along with the voice the cravings gripped my mind. But I pushed forward, grabbed some kiwi fruit, filled up my protein shake and sat down to read the paper. I cut up the kiwi fruit, which I find helps increase the perception of large quantity due to longer time and sipped my shake. Upon finishing the snack, the voice chimed in again. "Come on, you know your still hungry, just a couple of jatz won't hurt?" Usually I have no support in such situations and cave in. But this time another powerful, booming voice chimed in. "Are you really hungry?"

"But you deserve a Reward,"

"The perfection of yesterday was the reward!". Alpha wins.

Yesterday's pursuit of perfection was a resounding success. I hit all my diet targets, study targets, made it to the gym and coped well at work. And as I knew would happen my mind and body worked along smoothly despite only 4 hours sleep and a large exercise load. I also found it very helpful tweeting my thoughts, cravings and happenings throughout the day. The perception that people will be able to track my progress throughout the day helped hold me to task. Also I now have a minute by minute, almost, of the positivity perfection gives back. My mindset was full of positive thoughts, feeling I could accomplish anything, create anything, complete anything. It was intoxicating.

So intoxicating in fact, I am continuing it today!

Alpha and Out!

Pursuing Prime Perfection

And with that quirky segment of alliteration I will outline the meaning behind the Ps seen above. Overall this has been a below average week. Initiated originally by a cold but then continued on by bad habits. I missed my first lectures of the semester and have been dozing in others, always a bad sign. I have also been snoozing and watching too much TV which led to snacking in bed, a repeat trigger/ symptom of the Dark ages. Based on this build up of poor habits along with my study falling behind has triggered the positive response required.

That response is perfection. Past blogs have outlined my attempts at perfection which highlight repeated failures. These past attempts I believe have failed because I set unrealistic goals throughout an unrealistic timeframe such as months or weeks. So now I'm keeping it simple. The goal is simply to be perfect until Monday morning starting from this afternoon.

Now this pursuit will be difficult but doable and I've only got myself to keep on track. Central to the Perfecting criteria is diet, study and gym in that order of priority. My diet has been poor and now is the perfect opportunity to reinforce the benefits of hitting your diet targets. Study has literally been non-existant so the criteria will be a solid 2 hours minimum of study. While the gym is pretty self-explanatory. Finally some other minor criteria includes no snacking in bed, no snoozing and just nothing negative. Another thing i hope to include positive thoughts suppressing the negativity I know will come with pursuing perfection.

I am going to aim to log my thoughts, feelings, urges, basically anything throughout the day to hopefully reinforce how perfecting those life aspects makes you grind so much better throughout the day. Let's Do It, Alpha and Out!!!

Virus, You Sly Devil

The walls were up, the immune cells strong and the mind was pumping the positivity but alas a goddamn virus still managed to sneak in. I proceeded to smash it with juice, vitamin C and rest but it seems to be settling in for the long haul. It has not completely wrecked my exercise regime. I am still hitting up the gym but the cold has definitely taken the edge off my performance. I am trying to maintain my exercise and walking the tightrope between my fitness and my recovery. So this basically means reducing early morning starts, keeping warm, lots of fruit and plenty of sleep. Hopefully this will do the trick, Alpha and Out!

Hittin The Stone

Milestones that is! I am having a champion day after a very tired, lethargic and flustered rest day yesterday. Speaking of which when I wrote yesterday's post I was sitting in the sun. After getting up and finding shade, reading up on my practical and grabbing a cold Coke Zero my misty head cleared somewhat and I managed to walk on.

Anyway back to the champion day. I seriously believe today's awesome origins came from just before I went to sleep. I had got a free sample of ice cream from work which I took home for my grandparents. Now never underestimate the power of ice cream on me, I would buy a 1 litre tub after work and demolish the lot at 3am in the morning back in the depths of Awkwardness. As I got home, extremely tired and having dinner in the back of my mind Awkward was whispering "Come on, there is a small tub of ice cream in the freezer for you to eat before you go to sleep," Not content just to entice me, he tried to rationalise it for me - "Come on your tired, you've been going all day, you were spot on with your diet you can fit it in, you deserve it," All the usual bullshit that Awkward sets in my mind when I am tired. The crunch point came as I walked past the freezer on the way to bed. I looked up at the white door, greyed by the night. And I...

Walked straight past it. Boom! That is the milestone I am talking about. Alpha knew that if I fell to the creamy sword, I would be up even later, sleep in, miss my 8am lecture, probably not even make it to Uni and have a dwelling, depressing day in bed. The final touch to my avoidance was the biography/training manual of champion triathlete Chris 'Macca' McCormack which I am currently enthralled in. Instead of grabbing a spoon and digging into temporary relief, I jumped into bed and read the book till I was right to drift off to sleep with the warmth of the dog at my feet.

Macca's book leads me onto the next reason I am in a great mood and having a productive day. His book has swung me around from pure desperate housewife style "fat-loss & toning" to training for a return to triathlon and doing everything for performance rather than vanity. This lead my gym session to crank out a race pace/flat out duathlon in the gym on the treadmill and exercise bike. When I left home this morning after a brief but deep sleep I had no intention of doing a duathlon in my gym session however I was in a good mood and thought about how busy the weights section would be and that it would be better to do that tomorrow morning rather than today. So I jumped on the treadmill and bike for a 5km:20km:5km run:bike:run. And I SMASHED IT! 22:51min - 35:43min - 24:04min. I am happy to see my body hold up to the race pace intensity and the increased duration of the workout. From this pattern I am going to launch myself into preparation and training for triathlons rather than fat-loss. And I am excited at the possibilities. Phew! Long post today but I got a lot of positives in my mind. Straight to the Top we're going, Alpha and Out!

Tired Times In The Sun

I sit on the edge of the lakes at Uni in 20 degree sunshine feeling tired and flustered. As I soak up the sun I am trying to pinpoint why I am feeling so tired and out of it. I had a very solid 7 hours of deep sleep, usually more then enough to keep me grinding. I did have a massive 'brick' session of cycling, running, weights and oztag over a 4 hour period last night. However I made sure I had a stretching session last night and along with icing sore legs has avoided the usual physical hang over from such a session. I am having my rest day as planned but still feel tired and lethargic. Maybe it's the length of my day leaving home at 6:40am and returning home after 11:30 thanks to work. That along with the first practical session for one of my subjects has got me all flat. I always seem to find the first practical session intimidating due to the initial meeting of lab partners and the interaction I,'as an introvert, do not enjoy the prospect of. However I generally get over it quickly and it becomes enjoyable. Bam I think that probably explains it. Hopefully in a couple of hours I'll be fine. Fingers crossed, Alpha and Out!

Just Don't Do Too Much Damage

An extended break while going a day too long was exactly what I needed and yes I'll give myself a pass mark in the damage department. Only an afternoon of DVDs and a bag of chocolate was the real damagers of the period. I am feeling refreshed and raring to get stuck into another extended period of work.

I am looking to build on last weeks work. This means refining my diet and improving on my gym attendance. I need to plan more specifically my exercise routine, particularly which days become rest days, which days focus on strength and which to cardio. Upon this I need to plan my study and week overall. Also I plan to prepare my food and backpacks for the week as early as possible to improve my diet and streamline my study. Let's do it, Alpha and Out!

Pain, Pain Don't Go Away

Arrgghh! Knee's pumping, arms tensed holding onto the handles, calves about to burst, hamstrings about to burst, a crick in the neck inhibiting my attempts to checkout what was behind me. Last night on my ride to work and then the return run I felt the side effects of overtraining. My legs particularly the calves and the ligaments around the knee's were all strained and sore. My cycling was significantly slower particularly on hills where I needed to get out of the saddle a lot earlier than normal to pump up even a slight incline. While frustrated, sore and tired from a early morning rise to get to the gym my discipline surrounding my diet waned and strained. Luckily thanks to the growing power of my resolve the diet didn't suffer too much junk, just some extra biscuits, some leftover chicken stir fry for lunch and perhaps less water then I should be consuming.

All these reasons and more push me to question the unplanned, spontaneous nature of my exercise and workout schedules. I think I really need to plan it out better particularly considering my body is my engine of choice for transport to work, Uni, Oztag wherever. I simply cannot risk injury and repeated need for rest days. I think I need to figure out a way to split my exercise routine into segments focusing on performance for the eventual triathlon comeback as well as fat loss and injury prevention.

And of course I need to take at least one day off to rest a week, a libation I am currently enjoying today despite having to wake up slightly earlier to compensate or time on the bus. I have also relaxed the diet a bit today more to the fact of piss poor planning than anything which I will improve on in time but today I am ok with it. I'm just giving myself a parents pass, "....just don't do too much damage," Enjoy today, plan for tomorrow and live for the pleasure, Alpha and Out.

Operation: Straight 7's

"Your mission, whether you choose to accept it, You will find yourself at University staring down 4 subjects in your Final Semester. You will do everything in your power to achieve a top grading of 7 in each subject. Good Luck Soldier, this posting will self destruct in three seconds.....3.....2....1...."

Well maybe not self destruct but it definitely needs to be etched into my mind, become my sole predominant focus. However this will not compromise my fitness time and goals as I believe that working out is the best way to relax between hard core study as well as keep the mind sharp and flowing. Couple this with an appropriate diet and the brain and my physiology will run even smoother. I spent the majority of my holidays attempting to establish or at least start some productive habits to help guide and protect me to complete my mission. And while some habits haven't yet stuck like getting up consistently early, some essential ones like going to the gym most certainly have and I enjoyed a couple of weeks of hard, flat out sessions and am beginning to see some results.

Lets Go Get it, Lock in, Focus, Letssssss Do It!! (Cue Mission Impossible theme music)

Straight Up The Hill

Riding up Highgate Hill (a long and fairly steep ascent) after work I reflected about the strength of my ascent to Alphadom. A mere month ago I would not be on that journey to the gym after work. I would be tired on the bike home for a massive feed and sleep.

The comeback is quite well on the way and I'll be taking my stats after 3 weeks of holiday exercise. The first section of my return to hard core training during this holidays has really gained momentum and been a powerful motivator. Looking forward to taking my stats tomorrow.

As I write this post the australian anthem is being sung for the wallabies v boks test rugby match. A tough one for us, Go the Wallabies!

Rolling On A Straight Line

Both Thursday and Friday have chugged along nicely following the circle early in the week. Sleep ins, lunch with mates then gym sessions and good sized dinners. Had an especially massive gym session on Thursday afternoon. I really cranked out a massive 30 minutes on treadmill doing intervals with high speed rest level, then smashed out another 15min on the rower followed by a solid arm weights session. Absolutely wrecked myself.

On the up and up I made another step forward tonight by going to the gym on a Friday night after dinner. This previously would've been impossible for me. While I only churned out 45 minutes of solid cardio when you add the two 20 minute bike rides to and fro it all adds to a nice session for a Friday night. On a straight line, Alpha and Out!

Takin' It Full Circle

As usual the waves of troughs and peaks have rolled around me. Monday, the first day of Perfection was top notch. Early gym, perfect diet and no lounging in bed. I think the key to that day was exercising basically upon waking as well as waking early.

Tuesday dropped into a trough. Another mess to clean up at no fault of my own. I decided to rant about it thinking that would help resolve it however it still resulted in chocolate, marshmallows and movies in bed. Taking something positive from that day I think giving any thought to the matters of the dark days has got to be sent straight to the proverbial punching bag in my mind to not allow it to dwell. Got Chernobyl that shit, encase it in concrete and dedicate a no go zone.

Wednesday completed the full circle taking it back to raging positivity and success. Again upon waking I exercised and managed to set a new PB for the local running loop I do. From there everything just kept rolling on smoothly. I took control of the Carpark by myself last night and executed an albeit quiet night without a hitch, great for confidence.

And now despite a sleep in (I probably needed it) I recovered and jumped straight back upon the horse they call Positively Powerful, Alpha and Out!

Time Ripe For Perfection

Leaping and Bounding towards setting good gym and exercise routines is the name of the game and so far I am winning this game. The last two weeks since picking up supplements a pre-workout called Jack3d and a simple low cal protein powder I have been absolutely smashing out sets in the gym. This holiday although it has had its shocks concerning my results has been exactly what I needed. Time to recover, settle my finances and begin to establish healthy routines.

That said it is time to take it up again to the next level. The time is ripe for perfection. It is time for me to practice having an intense focus on everything attributing towards my goals so that I can tell myself that I can do this when my focus wanes when studying this upcoming semester. This means perfection in the following areas;

-Perfect Diet
-Perfect Exercise Routines
-Perfect Recovery (to avoid injuries)
-Perfect Productivity
-Perfect Uni Preparation
-Perfect Relaxation Habits (No Daytime or commercial TV)
- Keeping out of Bed between 8am and 7pm (to avoid snoozing and disrupting sleep patterns)

Ah yes, long-term readers might say that I have set these goals before and usually lasted less than a day. Quite right, however I am now in an extremely strong mental state and I believe I can take it and run. As a further precaution I have outlined Saturday as my RRR Day, Rest-Recover-Reward Day. This means that any cravings I get, any loss of focus, any urges I can tell myself that can all happen on Saturday. However it will only be an RRR day if I can maintain perfection throughout the week without a single set-up. Stayed Tuned, this is going to be a great week, Alpha and Out!

Big Week, Big Recovery

180km on the bike, 5 big gym sessions and 6days of work. This equals one big tiring week. Today and yesterday have been devoted to some hardcore recovery. No not physio's, ice or Eastern medicine, not even stretching but again falling into the TV and snoozing behavior. However this relaxation method has not been as counter productive as previously with the exception of not doing my diet any favors. I needed the rest and some recovery food couldn't do too much damage.

I am focusing on the positives at the moment in behavior changing. Meaning that I am focusing on establishing a strong exercise regime and hoping that diet will eventually jump on the momentum train. I feel like going back to Uni will help that as it will keep me away from temptation but closer to the gym. I also believe my focus for high marks will encourage me to keep my physiology firing strong not wanting to be tied down by carb binges but rather churning and burning through regular doses of protein. Let's enjoy the rest of the rest day and back full pelt tomorrow, Alpha and Out!

Indestructible

I got my exam results back this morning. 4, I expected that......4, ok that was touch and go.....and finally....4, what the? These results are far from what I expected and pretty much rule out the chance of Med school next year.

Now previously such news would cause the initial stomach implosion followed by a dip in positivity and then depression, loss of confidence it would all unwind. But now you now the first thought to my head upon receiving the news...F~#*k Em', I'll prove em wrong. Instead of lighting a destructive fuse, the results ignited my passion and fire to finish my degree with a bang. I put it aside, rose from my warm bed and went the gym at 500am this morning. The transformation is nearing completion, I am becoming indestructible!

Now for the bold prediction! Such was the fire that burned this morning I believe I am going for straight 7s for my last semester of Science, completing the transformation and bringing Med back into the equation. That is 7,7,7,7 and it's gonna be mine, m#*%^#r f*^ker!

Speaking of the gym I have now made it 3 days in a row, all massive sessions. I feel with each session that I am reclaiming part of my physique, my jaw becomes sharper and my muscles bigger. But more importantly each session I reclaim my insane self-discipline, work ethic and confidence. Indestructible Baby!! Alpha and Out

Time To Elevate

I've had my rest week, gotten sleep, TV, bad eating and almost complete inactivity out of the way. It is now time to start to lay the concrete foundations on the large space of positivity I've been in recently. That positivity I have already channeled well into most of my exams now it is to be channeled into creating a lifestyle, the Alpha Lifestyle.

One of the keys to the Alpha lifestyle is a powerful, functional and ripped physique. I think that without study responsibility at the moment this should be the inlet upon which I concrete to set down habits and pour the same intensity into this pursuit that I did my exams. Luckily, habits that will be laid down as part of such a pursuit will also help when study returns and I believe the next couple of weeks are time to lay down good eating and exercising habits. Let's Gooo! Alpha and Out.

Flashback: A Day In The Life

Headaches, lethargy, negative thoughts and diet cravings. This is what I suffered from in my attempt to relax as part of Uni holidays, my first chance for such time in ages. However after one day I soon found out that I did not know how to relax properly. See from the "Dark Days", attempting to relax was lying down watching tv all day. So I tried that and bam! I was hit by all those symptoms. No wonder I was in such a bad place back then. While not the root cause I realize now it certainly exacerbated it.

So now I am experimenting with what to do to relax and/or recharge. I have found it much more positive and fulfilling to be active during the days but at your own pace. I go to the gym, catch up with mates and do one or two odd jobs. This keeps me active, moving towards my goals and away from the temptations at home. And so far I have found this much more beneficial and battery charging then my misconceived prior notions of relaxation. Alpha and Out!